King of Beggars
Starring: Stephen Chow Cheung Man
Young master, we are ready
What's a hard job for you, young master -The sweat, young master
What did he write? -His name!
Great! Young master knows how to write his name!
Yes!
Nice calligraphy -Get lost
Nice calligraphy! "So-Cha-Ha-Yee-Chan!"
It's written in reverse, Master "Chan Yee Ha Cha So"
Smart boy, but don't be arrogant! Got it?
Dad, since the first emperor of the Ching Dynasty,
our family had been illiterated
But this has changed now. Your grandson Chan,
he knows how to write his name! -Dad, it's no ordinary!
He knows writing now, so he'll be scholar some day
He knows how to write his name today, so he will have a baby with dick some day
try hard to study... -Piss off
Chan, I think, we should mount it -mount it
Hang it in the most obvious place -Not exactly...
You first show it off in the street
Go !
Chan, come and sit...
I am so pleased that you're hardworking and well behaved
Listen up, I'm well known of juice sucker And my fortune is almost juiced up
If I die one day, you will be on your own
I've been on my own
Here, they're worth $100,000 each ! Spend them well
Geek, pass me the western hat -Where are you going? Chan!
I am having a grand birthday party tonight
How old are you? -25. Come earlier
But you should dress up first You look like a beggar!
How could a beggar be that rich?! I wouldn't mind being one! hahaha..
What an arrogant boy... come over here -What's the matter?
The invitation card of my son is great!
If I throw a birthday party in future, I'd want a better one!
[Cantonese opera playing]
Your Majesty, how do you think about the Cantonese Opera?
Local plays for sure can't compete with Peking Opera!
But, it's not bad to view this
Give them money... Give them money...
Happy birthday to you, Mr. So -I 'm homeless and sick...
I'm broke, I'm devorced, I'm doomed I am all fucked up!
Please give me some money -You're kidding? Damn you beggar!
How dare you're begging here? I'm gonna hit you...
hit him with tips -Yes, young master
Are you kidding? How can you give him tips?
A beggar is human too Everyone can come
Movies, every meals, hooking, my treat the whole month
You will? -You have problem with that?
Of course not!
Please follow me Come into my room...
Mr. So! -Hello...
How are you, Madam Pimp?
Bastard! I hate it everytime you call me that!
Just be frank, why not? -You want to be frank?
Your hat, is like the mourning uniform!
Did your dad pass away?
I like the way you talk!
Mr. Chiu, you helped me shut down the Hairy Gang,
the Emperor will reward you for that
I'll appreciate it if you
speak good of me in front of the Emperor
Show is over, please have the towel
Mr. So has come -Congratulation!
This way...
Mr. So, today is your big day, you must be very happy!
We have some new girls, you must be satisfied with them
What are they? Gold fish, or Cooked fish? What does that mean?
You idiot! Gold fish is for watching only Cooked fish is for poking!
Cooked fish of course!
You, cooked fishes, come serve customers.
Mr. So, you are the superior master today
What kind of woman do you want? Just tell me
Ain't matter, every woman is just the same
Nobody is special...
Mr. So, what's the matter?
I was just eyeballed -What?
Who dared so? I'll hit that big mouth
Not the mouth It was the eyes
Tempting, and brutal, I haven't seen such eyesight before
Who the heaven is she?
Miss Yushang works part time
Is Mr. Chiu interested to sleep with her? -You should ask His Majesty first
So what do you say, Your Majesty?
We're here for fun, just do whatever you say.
Mr. Chiu, knock yourself out
Thank you then Set up the room
The room service please
Yushang, come greet Mr. Chiu
Sister, he is the one who killed our father
I know, stay calm Let's go
Excuse me -Mr. Chiu, this is Miss Yushang
I'm Yushang, my pleasure to meet you, Mr. Chiu
Such a beautiful lady!
Mr. Chiu, about tonight...
300 taels for her
Miss Yushang is coming with our young master
She's not gonna serve you -Everybody, excuse me
Don't you have any objection?
Let me say something fair
If any of you can offer more than 100,000 taels
Yushang will be yours tonight
No need to spoil our mood, am I right?
Pal, you're really want to spend big money
The tael note is way too ordinary
I have a big pearl, granted by the Royal family, it's priceless!
I like the pearl better
Mr. Chiu, I will wait for you in my room
This pearl is worth 100,000 taels?
You didn't like my money?
I like money, but, I don't like you
She is so frank! I love it, very much
Mr. So...
It doesn't matter, I think my hat doesn't fit my style
and Yushang looked down on me, I deserve it
I am appreciate your understanding
Don't worry, I have many other pretty girls
Well said, I'm counting on you...
Not my fault!
How bold you're messing here
Mantis Fist? It looks like it. MUSIC !
Hold it for me
See my Crane's Fists! Come the Tiger's Claws!
How could your mantis fight with a tiger? Plus a Crane's!
I know double Fist of Tiger Claws and Crane too!
Well, try my mantis then..
Bravo...
My mantis beat your double Fist of Tigar Crane.
Actually it's not Tiger Crane, it's peacock!
That's why you're so naughty!
Your move was fast! You don't look that retard.
Young man, you just don't know whom your're messing with
The general of Canton has arrived -move, move
Who dares bully my son, let me teach him a lesson
Master
Don't panic, who own you? -It's me who own them
What? You bullied them?
How rich are them? Are they qualified?
Master, it was them -Who are they?
Just take a look yourself
The King of Iron Hat?
Great gift!
Chan, stop bullying them for great gift sake
Tips the girls with it.. -Wait, Master...
The medal reads: "Seng-Ko-Lin-Chin, King of Iron Hat"
How dare you seize the medal of His Majesty? Cuff him
Hold it, according to the Ching's law, hooking is prohibited of any Courtier
Now, you have come to a whorehouse
Do you know you have committed the laws of Ching?
What about you?
He means me? -Yes!
That's right, I come...
to arrest... -to arrest you!
No, Him! -Arrest him!
I am the general of Canton,
so I should arrest bad people like you
One more thing...
What else? Go ahead
Today is the memorial day to the ancestor Empress
So your crime is doubled
He could be entitled to the capital penalty -Chop Him.. chop Him..
According to the Ching laws,
anyone without a pony tail should be beheaded so you...
Want to see my tail?
You can see as much as you want, moron -Cut the crap, chop Him
OK guys, party's over
General So, you've had fun already, let's get over it
I haven't played yet!
Your Majesty,
Sorry your mood has been ruined by some jerks
I should be blamed for poor arrangement
Not your fault Let's go
Master, you can't mess with this guy You better stand down
As you said so
Just forget about the trouble
Young master, your hat
What a top fighter he is.
Uncle Mok, all dishes are poisoned -Good !
Chiu assassinated our Master
and some generals of The Taiping Reign
And he framed us, the Beggars Clan,
thus everyone despises us
Saying that we have become the dogs of the Emperor
Revenge must be taken!
His kungfu is powerful
Don't attack until he is trapped
Because we can't defeat him with what we got here
I'll try my best to seduce him to bed
Captain, somebody is coming
Get ready everyone...
Miss Yushang, we meet again
How come it's you? Where is Mister Chiu?
Mr. Chiu' pearl is crashed by Mr. So and turned to powder
I drank with it
Don't judge Mr. So from his boomstick-like hair,
in fact he is so romantic and funny
But...
No but, I have his 100,000 in my pocket now.
I won't give it back
About Mr. So...
Cut the crap, Madam Pimp. You can leave now.
Yes, yes
Madam Seven wait... -Get along with it..
Who is this guy? -I don't know
Miss, first of all, I have a good news: I like you a lot
To me, this is a bad news
I knew you would say that
Cut to the chase
I'm willing to pay you 100 pearls for accompany me tonight
I'm not talking to you anymore, please get out.
I was right about you Good, I'll drink the first round
No, don't drink it...
More surprise?
Lady... -Get off me
You know Kung-fu?
No, I don't know Kung-fu. I beg you, stop bothering me
I won't accompany you
Yushang, no one treats me like this
I've found myself falling for you
What did you say?
I said I have fallen in love with you
Are you kidding?
I am not kidding, I've decided to marry you
Are you insane?
What the hell...
Didn't know you were hiding here..
That's good, I just need a witness here -Witness??
Yes, I'll swear before your noble sword
I do want to take Miss Yushang as my wife
If I lie, I'd be striked by thunder bolt
Sister, I'm really excited for you. -Wait...
You think it's that easy to be my husband?
What should I do to become your husband?
I want him to be the master of Kung-fu and scholar. Top in position.
Can you do that? -Let me think for one second
I can do it
Good. We'll talk about it when you are succeed in doing it
Well, in that case, I think we should now schedule our wedding
Because, this is too easy for me to become the Kung-fu scholar!
Good. But you should give me some time to consider it
No problem, I'll wait for your answer outside the garden
I won't leave until I meet you there
Psycho!
We are with the Beggars Clan, everybody should leave at once
Sir, the timing is fit
The road is safe now, please proceed -Good, very good
Hit the road.
Shit, we are too late
That nutty has screwed up our business
Sister... sister
What's the matter? -The idiot is still down there
Let's kill him -Forget it,
he doesn't mean to bother us. Let him be.
You fall for him, don't you?
What are you talking about?
I won't think of it until Chiu is dead
Especially not with him
Chiu is good at Kung-fu
Uncle Mok said we couldn't defeat him without the "Dragon 18 Palms"
I could never get married !
Get out of here before you get too horny
What evil are you? How dare you scare me?
Mr. So, it's me Madam Pimp..
You are Madam Pimp?! -Yes
You have flat figure, where are your tits?
It's still early in the morning, they haven't waken up yet
You're lucky this time for not being killed
Don't hang around without make up on -No I won't do that again
Stop waiting for Miss Yushang, she has left
Left already?
"Where is Yushang going?"
"It is said she... she was gone to Peking"
"Peking?"
Men should contribute to the country Where should I put my pig-tail?
Swing it , and swing it...
I pull it and play it...
Dad !
I decided to take the examination for the scholarship in Peking
Chan
I've been longing for you saying that for 25 years
You should do that in the name of our family
Don't misunderstand it, I do it not for no one
but a lady
Hero !
You die trying to be a scholar for a girl, who is she?
The celebrity escort, Miss Yushang
That whore?
What's wrong with it?
You have that different taste which nobody wouldn't dare!
I admire you! I'll accompany you to Peking
2, 3, 4, 5, 6 -Coming :)
Young master is going to Peking for the examination, let's pack!
Stop chasing that, we not taking the hens with us
Be careful, idiot!
If you break my stuff, I'd kick your ass.
Be careful!
Good morning dad -Good morning
You are indeed moving everything. -Sure
How about leaving me something to put on? -You're just a kid, no need to worry
But I'm not "kid" anymore
Darn! Yours is bigger than mine?
You despise me! Mine will grow bigger than yours one day
Put off your pants for me, anyone?
Why are you standing here for? Keep moving
It takes time to move such a big house!
Please, push harder man! On my count: 1, 2, 3, push!
Push! Push!
Push it carefully!
Tie it firm...
Master, you're moving the tree too? -Of course!
or how can I eat Lychee in Peking?
Push it over...
Watch out
Take care of my Lychee, you shit head!
Chiu helped me to wipe out the Hairy Gang in Kwangsi
So I bring him here to greet Your Majesty
Fine, I am now appointing you to be the Deputy Secretary
Hope you will serve our Ching Dynasty with all your heart
Thanks you, your Majesty.
Your Majesty, Mr. Chiu is skillful of casting spells,
Why don't you ask him for a demonstration?
Magic?
Then show me, Mr Chiu.
Aye!
Don't make a scene, stand down. -Yes
"Eternity"
My apology for scaring your Majesty
Wish that girl was real.
Hurry up!
What's the matter?
Come on, get behind
What's the matter?
Hide in
We're ready, young master
Alright
You all stand still, don't make a move
Smell sweet, you are Piu Hung.
Young master you're great! I love it
Closer
Big boobs! You must be Tiny Teen!
You're Superbad saying me of that -You're busty indeed
Huh? A pregnant woman we got here? You can't trick me,
You are dad !
Such a bad boy.. how did you know it's me?
Smart kid !
Thought I could trick you this way.. good game
Young master has to take the examination tomorrow,
Game's over... get out now.
Chan, are you prepared for the examination?
What should I prep? I must win, don't you know that?
Yes I do!
Great attitude ! I have total confidence on you!
Chan, this is Uncle Cheng, He will be the examiner tomorrow
Greet your Uncle Cheng
Knock yourself out, Uncle Cheng -Oi oi oi...
You see? Hasn't him already won the scholar?
It depends on his fate
Cheng, I've asked someone to work on the papers
you gave me earlier. They remain unchanged?
Changes can be dealt on-site...
But for the bow-shooting, riding, boxing and weaponary fight...
He'll be on his own -No problem
My son is highly trained in all kinds of martial arts
About your 2 million taels... any discount?
You know, I'm doing you a favor, however, if it is business, it's business
Let's place the Horse teams in frontline
The archers go side way, the guns stay behind
First round for martial arts exam. The candidates enter now.
"Hebei" province
"Canton"
"Mongolia"
"ZheJiang"
"Jiang Su"
Can't lift it
Just reserve my strength. Shame to you all... sons of bitches.
Wow, 10 points
[Audiences] Great!
Wow! Great!
Wow! Another 10 points!
The final match starts now
The match is between...
Po Ye Tat Tor, Mongolia [Bravo...]
and So Cha Ha Yee Chan, GuangDong
Last call
Odds are : So: 10 to 1 Po: 1 to 1
Are you kidding, how the candidates differ greatly from the odds?
10 to 1 and 1 to 1? Chan is against all odds
You see, Chan defaulted in weight lifting,
while Po entered the final phase with perfect scores
It's a scholar examination, not becoming coolie labourer!
What does it have anything to do with weight lifting, moving furnitures?
Colleague, you have in deepth opinion
I've studied this race for a long time
I feel strange about the odds
Po has good "conformation", with maximum output..
But you can see him sweatng on the neck after a "two-beat gait" walk
Perhaps he's in state of worry -Really?
But So seems to be unique... -How?
He had a poor "gallop" during the previous race.
But he had heart to make it to the final -What is 'heart'?
'Heart' is an English word, meaning determination
So I'm gonna bet everying on him -How much you'd bet?
800,000 taels Not enough, why not 2 million?
Huh? Why you're suddenty so optimistic about Chan?
I find your analysis accurate, now I'm convinced that my son
will win the match for sure -come over here
Come on
I'm gonna bet more on him 2 million taels!
How generous!
Why didn't you bet?
Why should I bet? Chan is my son !!
Shit, I overlooked a factor... -What factor?
His bloodline ! -What the...
Here comes the Examiner
What? Isn't Cheng the examiner?
Please take a seat
It's Seng-Ko-Lin-Ch'in ?!
What seems to be the problem?
He is Po's uncle !
Let's roll
Start!
[Audiences] Faster... faster...
[Chinese drums beating]
[Audiences] Faster... faster...
Yahoo yeah!
Wow! Target destroyed! At least 2 bonus points!
Yes... sounds making sense...
So's arrow isn't found on the target, that makes Po the winner
Are you serious, you bastard? You rigged the contest!
Candidates please get on horses for the next match
Po
Take these projectiles, you'll find them useful
2nd round starts now
They also rigged the weapons?
It's too corrupted ! Can I get my ticket refund ?
Chan is catching up! -You didn't tear up your ticket, did you?
No no no... not yet
Are you shitting me?
You're still not giving up? Come again !
Let's start it all over again, I'll fight you with handicap
Don't say I was taking advantage of you Ha ha ha ha...
Wanna beat me with dirty Ninja's trick?
Are you awaken already, noob?
Yeah ! He has won! -We're good !
Have some tea... - 'All the best'
'Fork the rest' ? -No, 'All the best' is English phrase.
There is no regulation against using projectiles weaponary
Chan fell first, that makes Po the winner again
Cheng you traitor bailed on me like a kite,
I'm gonna beat you on sight
Forget it, you wouldn't see him again
How's that?
I'm gonna kill him now! I don't have 2 million to lose!
Just bull shit -You're shameless
Po won 2 out of 3 matches, that makes him the all-round Scholar
I did win! I'll protest !
What are you doing?
The dart... is poisoned
You got yourself poor karma! You deserve the consequences!
He was poisoned by his own dart
He is dead now and my son becomes the Scholar. -And I'll win my fortune!
You... You...
[Audiences] Bravo!
We've earned our ancestors an honor ! -You made a good judgment
Sir, Emperor wants to appoint the title Himself
OK
I wanna ask you a couple of questions for the official record
As you won the title, to whom you want to thank?
Lady Yushang!
Lady Yushang ? Would that be his mom?
Long life to you!
As Ease ! -Thank you, Your Emepror.
Chiu, who is the new Scholar?
Your Emperor, it would be So-Cha-Ha-Yee-Chan of Canton
Your Emperor, So-Cha-Ha-Yee-Chan greeting
Your Emperor, I have information to report.
You're granted
I've found out So is illiterate.
So how could he pass the written exam?
He must have cheated.
Get me the writting gears. -Yes
So-Cha-Ha-Yee-Chan, write down your name here.
Thank God, just write his name!
He knows how to write his name!
I can't do it !
Damn! You must have cheated the exam!
Have him beheaded outside!
No! No!
Your Emperor, I was the one who cheated
It's not son's fault, execute me instead
No, I should be executed
Sorry dad I can't even write my name
Needless to say, I know it just now.
Your Emperor, I should be killed -Kill me
Kill me -No, kill me instead...
Ridiculous! You ain't decide whom should be executed.
You two collaborated with each other.
Secretary for Justice should announce sentence against you.
Secretary for Justice, come out now! Hurry up.
I am here!
He is the Secretary for Justice?
Both of you have commited serious crime, should be sentenced to death...
But we pardon you from death due to previous achievement
Your assets should be seized. About mis-carry of duty...
Have you carried out any duty?
No, I have not reported to my military unit for 7 years
Not carrying out duty means no wrong doing of duty!
As a result, Your Emperor,
the maximum penalty would be only "confiscation of assets"
That's it? Are you sure?
My sentence is absolutely legitimate,
according to the "Basic Law"
Can I add some more penalty?
You are the Emperor, You can do whatever You say.
Good, I now appoint you both as beggars, for life time!
Seng-Ko-Lin-Ch'in, How could you not find out what they were up to?
Chiu, you will be rewarded for revealing their crime.
That's the spirit tablet of my dad, you're gonna take it too?
That's just a damn jar, it's useless to you...
*...to tie a Ying-Yang knot, but not to un-tie it...* *... sorrow ...*
Young master,
from now on,
I think you better learn writing with attitude... take it...
# ... sorrow memory ... # # ... buy it but better not selling it ... #
Teacher,
I will learn it
#... Gonna regret that I shouldn't ... #
Master, I'll raise your little turtle -Master, I am sorry,
We haven't laid any eggs in those years...
Not your problem at all. It was me who blocked my cock,
or you would have given birth to hunderds otherwise.
'Cos I'm satisfied with Chan as my only son.
Why are you standing here? Go now
Master, we are leaving
Go, go now
Feeling kind of relieved...
Feel so excited! -So happy!
How happy are we!
Go in ... Hurry ...
How is that?
Why are they so damn happy? -Get back.
So damn funny ... -Hey, please go in ...
Damn sequestration, I wanna cry, my son
Holding up, don't lose our manners Keep on laughing
Son, haven't you spared some dollars?
No, how about you? -I forgot ...
No mercy, damn sequestration!
# Be merciful ... merciful ... #
Son, that guy is just like me
You mean the one who sings? -No, the one who gives
He is more disgusting than that singer -Not exactly, he looks good, my opinion
Your dad should be damned, I used to bad mouth you
Now it becomes true ... -Become true?
We become beggars just because the Emperor told us to?
Look at me, I'm full of talents,
Heaven wouldn't let me, even if I wanted to !
Do I ever look like a beggar? -No ...
Buy some foods to eat, you beggars
Hey! You treated us as real beggars?
Damn you indeed ...
How rediculous! Let's eat rice first.
Chan, now we're full and got nothing to do,
why don't we sit over there and beg some more?
You are just acting like a beggar
Dad, don't worry I don't need to beg for money
How is that possible ? -Just ask!
Hey pal, what's your name? -Cow Head
Do you have couple hundreds dollar? -Yes
Gimme some -Alright
Thank you ...
Wait, why should I give you money?
Why do you ask so many questions? I need to know
You'll give anyway
No, it's better clear things up
Just give it to us, why bother asking? -Let go the money
You mean robbing? Robbery...
Not robbing, we're just begging ...
Begging? You call this begging?
You think I'm stupid as pig? I got brains!
Hey, 2 days already,
The season is windy, our stomachs are empty
Think of any idea?
There is a friend's aunt's sister who lives around town
She always admires you -Really?
Yes, if you are willing to date her
I think she'll help get us back to Canton
But you have to sacrifice, I'm not sure if old man like you...
For our family, I'll do as you say
I know it's tough for you ... -Enough talking, let's go
It's all set up ...
The one in red, standing under the lantern, that's her
Ghost !
It's not a trick. No, it ain't ...
But you go first, I'll stay behind ! Hey!
Chan, I haven't tried this before, you'll be careful
Be calm, I'll do my best, safety guaranteed
You can use the money for caviar, right? -Good ...
Back off ...
We just need trip money for going back home, brother
Don't push us at desperation corner
It's Emperor's Order. So's family must be beggars for life
You two can only live by begging. It's my duty to make sure of that
Guards, take everything away! -Yes
Help!
Master Chiu, it's too heavy to lift it
Get more men to do it -OK
What do you want?
You're just asking for a fight, aren't you?
You got away last time in the whorehouse ...
But this time you won't be that lucky
This guy is no sissy, I must hit him hard and fast
Can't leave him chance to strike back
Chan...
Your arms and legs are all crashed
You're officially Life without Limbs
Practicing Kung Fu is no longer your business.
But, you can practice begging for sure
So do your job as a beggar
Move out ...
Don't panic, Chan, everything will be alright ...
Don't panic, you'll be alright... Chan!
No panic ... no panic ...
That day me and my son,
we set foot in the field of exam, took a good look at that examiner ...
Guess who that examiner was? It was the jerk Seng-Ko-Lin-Ch'in
We got history ...
About that jerk ... Let's smoke a pot first ...
Yes, you better get refreshing! -Good pot man!
Yes, you'd feel better
That mother fucker!
Me and my son cut him loose at the whorehouse that day ...
But he screwed us in return
He tricked my son with rigged weapons in the exam
But, my son was smart enough to get through it and won ...
I want him to be the master of Kung-fu. Top of the world.
Can you do that? -I can!
Good. We'll talk about it when you are succeed in doing it
Wait ... in that case, I think we should now schedule our wedding
Because, this is too easy for me to become the Kung-fu scholar!
Write your name at once
I can't
Chan, what's the matter ?
Another nightmare ?
Don't think too much ...
Here ...
Take it ...
You're able to move a little after resting for 2 months,
but you're not fully recoved just yet Coming ...
Look, Dad is going out for food
I'll make herbal tea for you later -Dad,
you go begging again?
It's old man's job, you're the scholar after all
. . . . .
Chan, it requires skills to be a beggar,
there are so many lessons to learn!
You can't just reach out your bare hands and score
At least you should have a bowl, that represents your class
Even beggars have different classes, my dick just got twisted or what?
Hey, hurry up ...
I am coming
We can't beg if we are super late -That's right
You think you're still the General you used to be?
Give me money -No I don't have money
Piss off, you get in my way of doing business
I'm going to work ...
Thank you...
Hey, don't be so selfish
Write your own stuff
You are off duty, so I just borrowed it ...
Don't you think I'm stupid ?
Dad!
How you holding up?
I feel so cold ... so cold... Chan
No, you're running a fever
Are you feeling sick? No I am not ...
It's late
I have to look for food
Lie down, let me go this time
You go for begging?
It's ok, I'll be doing fine
Keep resting, I'll take you to the doctor when I get back with money
You naughty boy, why don't you eat?
You need to eat more to grow stronger
Finish it -No, I'm full
No you're not, go on
OK, just forget it, let's go home ...
Eat ! Eat them all
Little kid! -What?
May I ... -No way!
# Be merciful! #
# Show mercy to a beggar like me #
My dad is dying of cold!
Beggar, you want some left-over charcoal ?
Thank you
Can you give me some coins?
Huh? It's you ... -No, it's not me
Sister, it's him -No it's not him
Sister, it's So Chan
Wait a sec !
[faking accent] Miss, whom you are looking for?
Sorry, I have mistaken
Tracy, I need some dumpling here
You have mistaken, he is not So Chan
You look like a friend of mine
Come to me if you get nothing to eat
We always have left over
Dumplings -Take them
[faking accent] Thank you...
Sister,
he wouldn't end up like this, if it wasn't for you
Dad, what are you doing?
I couldn't stand the hunger So I took bit of a dumpling from a kid
I pay you back with these dumplings
Can I chop your head off and give you back the head?
Are you the Scholar?
Aren't you the Scholar?
Almost ... -That's right, he's the scholar!
We should give him face
Thank you
Hold it It's good fate to bring us together
Good fate to bring us together? They're gonna treat us with good wines?
Dog rice for serving
Scholar, I'll release your dad if you eat the dog rice now
What's the matter?
Go on
Chan, don't eat that
You'll lose your dignity if you eat this
I'm old bone don't do this for me Dude, I'm still entitled as the Canton General
Stop the beating -Stand still
Scholar fed with dog's food ...
Dad. It's quite delicious -Is that so?
Let me try some, come one ...
Taste good !
Dad, look!
There is a slice of meat here -No, it's a pork steak !
They are more hungry than dogs! Eat dog rice for rest of your life.
Hurry, finish it
It's too damn good! I wanna save it for midnight snack
How could you possibly think of that? You're derserved to be beggars alright
The Scholar is eating dog's food Come on, let's go and eat man's food
Uncle So!
You are...
My dad was the leader of the Beggar Clan
Why don't you join us?
Uncle Mok, what do you say? -fine
Isn't the Beggar Clan for bum ? -That's right
Perfect, we are bums
Good idea to have you look after our asses. Chan ... where's the fool gone to?
OK, we're gonna sign up! Chan... Chan...
Yushang, happy new year!
Uncle Mok, happy new year!
We brought you gift. -Thank you
Clothes for you and Chan
Put it down first
Do you have change? -Yes
Gimme some, come on -What for?
It's new year, you should receive red pocket
Here, wish you good health
Wish you forever youth and beauty
Uncle Mok, we are like family-in-law now! -Where's Chan?
Chan?
He's been sleeping for days now
He just felt to sleep, don't wake him up Let me cook you some new year cakes
Good idea, let me help you
How can he sleep through the 1st day of new year?
Sigh ... He is way too off
Everybody's here?
To stand against Chiu, we need to unite the Beggar Clan
We must elect a new leader for the clan
Yushang ... Yushang !
To defeat the "Lotus quest" held by the 3 seniors, we're counting on you.
Uncle, you don't stand a chance for the quest, neither do I ...
so how can I defeat them and become the leader?
Take this Grand Power Pill, it'll dramatically boost your stamina
No, I can't. You'll need it for healing your internal injury
Don't worry, speaking of Kung Fu fight you could count on my son
He is a martial arts scholar after all ... I mean he was ...
Look at him, like a sleeping snake in winter
He's not even qualified to be beggar! -Haven't you spoken frankly enough ?
Hey, haven't you yelled loudier enough?
Chan, no matter how they despise you,
dad always have faith in you
Although you lost your power,
with your basic skill,
you can achieve something, only if you give it a try.
But I am now powerless, I don't want to fight again
This is nonsense! Now gimme a punch!
See, that was powerful ... So my point is, as a real man ...
Forget it, don't waste your time, why don't you leave me sleeping?
Why did you lock the door? -Enjoy sleeping in there.
Son, I put lots of effort to set this up for you
Try hard to practice "Dog-hitting waddy" fighting technique
What are you doing up there?
Even if you want me to practice "Dog-hitting waddy", you should at least give me a wand
Sorry about that, now catch this ...
Before being assigned to big tasks by Heaven,
one must live through starvation and exhaustion of flesh, mind and soul in extreme manners...
"No bountry for suffering" You wrote this?
Ugly writing, better wipe it off for good
Hey, beggar? -Yes
Me too -Congratulations
Hey, got food to eat? -No
Luckily, I have
Your appearence of beggar is sympathetic enough, it's a shame you don't use it well
You're too lazy to be a beggar, no wonder why you're dispised by others
Your fellows despise you
I was always respected by people. Now, look what I have become
In contrary, no one would ever respect me
Listen to me. Don't go yet! Listen to me...
I remember once ... in Canton
A fool paid all of my expenses, a man of his kind.
I remember you, brother. -Me too
Hey, hurry up, give me back my money
If I had money, I wouldn't be eating this dumpling
But, don't worry, I owe you big time, I'll repay you one day
Thanks, but no thanks
No point to give you money, cos it can't buy what you've lost.
What have I lost?
Dignity, confidence,
and your love one
Who the heck are you?
Well, I'm Hung-Yat-Sun, aka "Old-bag Sun"
I rank the highest and the oldest of all beggars
What's so bad about being a beggar ?
You can do whatever and whenever you want to do
Tell me, what do you want? I'll make it up for you.
I want to live like a human? -You don't think you do?
Never
That's why you've become what you are, young man
Very good! Very good!
To be honest, from head to toe, every part of yours is just like beggar's
What does that mean? -That means you're gonna beg for life
I'm talking to you anymore, let me take a nap for now.
Don't go yet, "every profession has its achievement"
If I wasn't wrong about this, you'd become the king of beggars
"King of beggars", what is that?
A beggar!
I don't care who you are, the conversation is over.
Please bury yourself and let me sleep
Screw you! Don't ... I just want to sleep with you
Nuthead!
Kid, I'll see you in the dream
Sitting the Buddha, Disciples assume your positions
Hidden Dragon,
Crouching Tiger
So Chan, you enjoyed the most of prosperity and wealth
you'd also been through the most of bitterness. You now pervade and comprehend
On behalf of Master Hung
I appoint you as the "Sleeping Disciple"
and pass you the "Sleeping Disciple's Fist" via this dream.
Hope you'll use it wise. Begin now!
Senior... senior ...
"Bitterness pasted, goodness begins"
Long life to you...
Here comes the white Goat Resurrection shall be granted
In the name of ancestor Mother, give me great power
Guide the mortals!
The Emperor is hunting tomorrow.
I'll get close to him by introducing him a beauty
Yuen Ling, you'll be the one who seduces him. -Yes
Once the Emperor is killed,
This kingdom will be in my hands
You all get a slice of wealth!
Long life to you
Senior! -Let's go back now
Senior! -Let's go!
Senior!
Chase him -Stop
The Emperor is about to set off
You killed my woman, I'll send you to the Emperor instead...
What's now? Start the new leader quest!
Tell Mok to hand over the "Dog-hitting Waddy"!
Where have your sister and Mok gone to?
How would I know? They took off soon after chatting
Are they romantically involved? -Grrrr ...
Now we gonna elect a new leader
Uncle Mok...
Are you doing ok ? -Where is sister?
Your sister was captured by Chiu
We need to find a replacement to take the leader election
Who can do it?
[beggars whinning]
I'll do it -Uncle Mok ...
Why don't you let me try?
Chan,
you are not qualified, come down
Since you don't have a good candidate, I'll let you through it
Chan, it's not a game, you would be killed. Come down
It doesn't matter, to me I'm already dead.
Bull shit, throw mud in his face
Well, as you wish
What is he doing? -Sleeping?
Isn't this ...
Mentor Sun's "Sleeping Disciple's Fists"?
Assume the formation!
Is it dawn yet?
Excuse me! But I won
What is the use for defeating us?
You don't know "Dog Hitting Waddy".
You are not allowed to be our leader
"Dog-Hitting Waddy"?
I hit every one of the dogs
Who said I couldn't play with this waddy?
It's so unlike "Dog-hitting Waddy" -But it looks cool
He broke the waddy!
He broke our precious waddy, let's kill him!
I am Master Hung, maintain your discipline.
It was me who made the rules that any fellow who defeats the Lotus formation
would be entitled as the leader
Haven't you all forgotten?
It was team work that made our clan became the strongest
I left you the "Dog Hitting Waddy" as a legacy to remember
The waddy itself doesn't mean anything
But you fools have turned against each other because of this treasure you believed
No leader had been elected for the past 5 years, shame on you all.
This waddy is now broken by So Chan, so it is no longer an issue
He has done you a favor
Although this youngster is green, he is a genius with talents
He is my favorite student, he who not with him is against me!
You should accept him as your leader, love him all your hearts
buy him meals more often
I would appreciate and bless you all, live long and do good in business
Isn't that real? -We better believe it
Apparition of Master Hung ! -We are blessed !
Can't believe I just pulled off a hoax, I'm such a genius!
What happened?
Greet the leader ! -Bravo !
You should have faith, you won, bravo...
Uncle Mok, my son is really great!
I didn't expect you would have learnt the "Sleeping Disciple's Fists" !
From now on, you're the new leader of Beggar Clan.
This is the instruction manual of "18-fist of Dragon Suppressing"
and the Grand Power Pill. Wish you every succeed in leading the clan.
I just want to save Yushang as soon as possible
Yushang didn't pick a wrong guy
Bravo! Leader is bravo!
Uncle Mok, how are you feeling?
Uncle Mok!
Uncle Mok...
[Chinese drum beating]
# The long road accompany you through out the journey #
# Filled with courage and guts #
# In search of myself and true friendship along the way #
# Where ever I stop I treat it as my hometown #
# Fall into the fate of troubled fire #
# Needn't worry to measure what to gain or lose #
# Riding on the back of the horse ... #
-Chan, did you really learn everything for "18-fist Dragon Suppressing" ?
Don't think I'm bluffing,
With the help of Grand Power Pill My internal damges are all recovered
My stamina is also boosted
I get all of the stances, except 18th the last,
"Regret of Slaying Dragons" ...
no illustration nor description of that I have no idea what I'm looking at
But Uncle Mok is no longer with us, what can we do?
What can we do? No matter what, I must rescue Yushang
# My laughter captures the wind that washes my sin away #
# Some day I will be so relaxing and drunk #
# Let the tip of spear corroded to rust #
Go check if the base camp is standing by. -Yes
Chiu, what is this lady doing here?
I know the Emperor is fond of pretty women
So I brought this lady as a gift. I'd like to meet the Emperor
The Emperor is not available, no reason to disturb Him.
Guard, escort this woman to base camp -Yes
Go on!
Sir, it's been a while, you look fabulous today.
I think you should assume your position Don't leave your post without permission
Yes
Report to your Emperor, Officer Chiu brought you this woman as a gift
Woman?
Damn! What a guy!
I'm taking a bath, bring her to me later -Yes
[Spell at work]
That bastard wanted to see the Emperor again,
if I let him do that so often, I'd lose my job ... damn
[Crowd shouting]
Guard
Sir
Go see what's goin on -Yes
Sir, there are loads of people in the woods
What kind of people? -Don't know
Sound the alarm of smoke!
Stay alert! Yes
Smoke signal is deployed, alarm! -Yes
Damn you beggars
So Chan, what the hell you're doing?
Nothing big, just wanna beg you for a small fortune
Ridiculous! Are you tired of living ? -You're the one who don't want to live
Chiu is planning to overthrow the Emperor. He's executing assassination as we speak
and your're still fooling around
Who do you think you are?
How dare you frame a courtier?
One more step and you will be killed
Chan, there are too many of them, no match for us
Senior -Yes
Where is our back up? -They're on the way
We can't wait any longer, you stay put for back up
I'll go first -I'll go next
No kidding ...
Leader, you're free to go
You sound like i'm already dead ... Can't you say something better?
Sure! Happy birthday to you...
# Congratulations to you, birthday boy #
# Have your birthday for every year ... #
That's enough -But I haven't finished
Don't sing while I'm here. -Sure
# Every birthday for every year #
# Congratulations to you #
Smoke has been deployed, someone must have put them alert ...
Get ready the poison gas Attack the base camp!
Rebellion! These sons of bitches!
Damn you all !
Damn you when you're not killed.
Shit, the poison gas is blowing to the Royal camp
Damn, the wind has changed direction -Right ... wait for me
If the Beggars Clan don't retreat now, we will kill without mercy!
Look !
That's posion gas
Stay calm, urine can neutralize the poison
Let's piss! -Ok
You guys, what about me?
Don't be afraid, I got plenty ... I'll give you some ... now hold it.
Move !
What's the situation?
We are lucky, the wind has changed direction
The poison gas is not getting here
How about other units?
They are all wiped out, Your Emperor
Get my sword ! -Don't... don't!
Get out of my way!
Your Emperor, it's too dangerous, don't go!
I'm not gonna sitting duck here, get off me!
I order you to give way! -You can't go ...
Protect me -Yes
Chan?
Yushang
How did you get here?
How? It's a long story
I took off without dinner last night, walked through the hill all night long
Reached the Great Wall this morning
We stopped half hour for lunch,
then I pissed -Really?
Really, then I wanted to eat a sweet potato
But only dumpling was left ... You know, dumpling is not my taste ...
I come late for rescue, Your Emperor. Please pardon me
Protect the Emperor! -Yes
You traitor! Let's get him!
Your Emperor!
Coward, give up your kingdom to me ... -Bull shit !
Is that you ? -Yes, it's Beggar So
Beggar So? Aren't you sleeping in your shithole?
Right, since you have brought this up ... Yawn ...
What the ...
"Sleeping Disciple"?
Parton me ... Huh ? Your hair looks messy just like beggars'
Care to join our Beggars Clan?
Didn't expect you to come back from hell -Right, thanks to you
That's all you got? My turn ...
Fool, except the "18-Fist of Dragon Suppressing",
I won't give a damn about any other stances
"18-Fist of Dragon Suppress" the 7th stance
"Flying Dragon in the sky"
"Dragon swinging tail" "Dragon pounds hearts"
Dragon legs, Dragon in the field, Dragon dances, Dragon rocks,
Dragon's balls, Dragon's dumps Dragon's lover, Dragon's health, Dragon's son
Job done!
[Deep breathing]
Just the 17 stances ? What a shame!
You could defeat me, only if you knew the 18th stance
But your chance has passed !
Chan!
[strong wind blowing]
I got it: the sum of the all 17 stances
is indeed the 18th stance! I'm such a genius!
[thundering]
The 18th fist: "Regret of Slaying Dragons"!
Chan, are you alright?
Look at my pose, what do you say?
Your pose looks cool but your face looks awful ...
Fool, I'm alright, I'm even up to great sex tonight.
Is that so?
Chan! Are you okay? -Sister!
Tracy! -Where is Chiu?
He is all around ... -All around?
He's vanished into ashes ...
Huh ? Ashes? What a trash, damn it!
Report to leader, Chiu's men are all captured by us
Thank you all for your hard work, brothers
Yushang ... Don't you remember our agreement between us?
I do. Be the top one, be the master of Kung Fu scholar!
Too bad I'm no Scholar
Right, but I don't like Scholars. I like beggars better.
You go first, I'm next
Seng-Ko-Lin-Ch'in, your judgement was poor
You compromised our security. Now I descend you as beggar
Beggar fits you. You have potential.
Report for duty in the temple tomorrow Tell my name if you run in trouble.. yawn...
Thank you leader, for your concern
So Chan, what do you want for reward?
Don't you have anything to say to me?
What to tell? Let's go
Ok -Pick me up
Hold up, hero So! -Put me down
Although you have saved my life, I could kill you for disrespect of me.
If so, you needn't squat and talk to me... No sudden move, you don't want to make a scene ...
You and I are so differnt, we really got nothing to chat about
Your Beggars Clan have millions of followers That posts a threat to my kingdom.
I don't decide how big the Beggars Clan can be, you do.
Me?
If you are doing your job and make the nation peace and rich
who would beg for living?
That makes senses -Watch your steps
But...
give me some faces, will you?
Alright, Long life to Your Emperor
At ease.
Pal, don't you remember me? -Of course! You beggar
Bring your girls for more sympathy? -Yor're right, be merciful, will ya?
No can't do, get lose
I don't take no for an answer; in order of Emperor!
Begging as ordered ? Some kind of jooooke?
No joooke! Make it quick!
Whatever you say.
Wait a sec, -What is it now?
So many homless here, give more! -How much more?
No less than a thousand ...
Oughta say thank you now -Thank you
Thank you very much! -Go buy some food
Follow me... come...
Hurry up... Let's go... -Give me that...
Translated by: arigon
# Filled with courage and guts #
# In search of myself and true friendship along the way #
# Where ever I stop I treat it as my hometown #
# Fall into the fate of troubled fire #
# Needn't worry to measure what to gain or lose #
# Riding on the back of the horse for the exploration in the middle earth #
# Who would worry about the pass #
# [In the middle earth of China comes a hero guy] #
# Sing with joy # # [Sing with joy and freedom] #
# Who is the best and the strongest? # # [ Who sings the most loudier and clear? ] #
# Who am I? # # [ No matter who you are] #
# Never care if people would approve myself #
# Blowing wind travels thousands of miles underneath the sun and moon #
# My laughter captures the wind that washes my sin away #
# Some day I will be so relaxing and drunk #
# Let the tip of spear corroded to rust #